ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee =
production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb
employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1
item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the
future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until
he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a
lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men
live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the
last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a
new argument.